Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
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You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
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