Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
