3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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