...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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