There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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