it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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