You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize