just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
