yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
