So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
