the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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