adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
