Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
