Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
