Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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