Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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