Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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