apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Barsexuality is the new black.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
