i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
