i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
