I wanna bring you to show and tell
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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