I'm eating all of the evidence.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
