bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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