glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I faked an abortion last night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
