Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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