Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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