dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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