he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
