We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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