Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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