after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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