That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize