morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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