yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
