Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
