Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
