I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she peed on how many people?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
