Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there was a trapeze. enough said
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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