If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it hurts more in the daytime
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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