Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
