I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
