It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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