I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This house was built for laser tag.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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