someone threw a dead crab at me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize