Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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