brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
