my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
