I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
