So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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