Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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