i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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