You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
