Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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