I think scott just propositioned me for sex
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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