yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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