I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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