You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
