I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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