C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There r osticjed everywhere
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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