thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize