Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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