you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
