He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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