; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
